When thinking about parenthood, I feel like no matter where we live, what things we have or give to our children, we are their constant. Their safe place. Their house, if you will. We surround them with love, comfort, happiness and safety. We weather their storms and hold fast and kind of tornados and tantrums they throw at us and we must remain strong to guide and protect them through each and everyday. A parent is a constant place of comfort and safety – no matter where we are.
But what if we break? What if one day that tornado is just too much and it ends up breaking that little, alone house? Suddenly we’re left Feeling Like A Lego House.
And that’s exactly how I was left feeling a week ago at a family gathering to a birthday meal. There was football on so naturally Jack couldn’t make it, and he isn’t exactly a social butterfly and I was quite happy to take Amelia and Max on my own – afterall, with a family as big as mine there are always plenty of spare hands should you need one. So Monday came around and from the minute Max woke up it was pretty much just hell. The pair of them were a complete nightmare all day. First we were running late for gymnastics because they both decided they couldn’t possibly get through breakfast without having a full on meltdown! This then followed by a whole hour of Max being fussy, Amelia not listening – at all – at gymnastics and me feeling like running and screaming, or maybe less dramatically just admitting defeat and leaving early! (which I probably would have done if I hadn’t already paid a fiver!)
So home we went and the nightmare continued. Max refused to have his much needed nap and Amelia continued to play up and be a typical two year old. Suffice to say it was most certainly one of those days.
I knew deep down that taking them out in the evening for the family meal would be a bad idea. In fact even taking just one of them would probably end badly enough and I did really consider taking Amelia on her own but I knew just how much everyone would want to see them both so against my better judgement, and Jacks offering to keep them both home with him, I went for it.
My plan was to get there early and get them settled at the table before anyone was there. Even arriving half an hour early we weren’t the first there and it seemed like everybody had the same idea. I have a pretty big family and two small children that aren’t really comfortable with a lot of people and only one safe person – me. Another safe person for them is my mum, their Nannie but typically she was running late.
Two toddlers in full meltdown mode and everybody trying their best to help thus making them worse was hell. And it resulted in mummy having s meltdown too.
Picture this – a tired, overwhelmed parent crying in the outside play area sat on a bench with most of the family there and some friends, looking like a bit of a lemon just wishing she’d never bothered to go and praying her mum would hurry up and take the toddlers away for a bit.. Yup! That was me. Talk about embarrassing!
The moral of this little confessional period is that I wanted to just wanted to brag a little bit about my amazing, supportive and non-judgemental family. Part of the reason I was crying was because I was so embarrassed that I couldn’t control my own children.
At that moment I needed my mummy.. or rather they needed their Nannie!
After some hugs and reassurance that they’ve all been there themselves and that I’m doing a great job we settled down and after that they were brilliantly behaved! I was so happy with them and my awesome family that I had to get this little snap of us all together afterwards.
We all have crappy days and feel like the worlds worst parent, it’s how we get through those days that defines what kind of parent we are.
Thanks for reading 🙂