A lot of thoughts had been going around in my head about baby number two and the massive impact he would have on our lives when I was pregnant. I was super excited for a new little baby to expand our family and have a companion for Amelia but it did also come with some fears.
1) Coping – A big worry of mine was that I wouldn’t be able to cope with two lots of fussing and two lots of tantrums and getting two little people ready for outings as well as myself! I would usually take an hour when we wake up to get fully ready to leave the house, and this is even with getting Amelia’s bag packed the night before! With another one I thought I’d have to wake up at 5 am just to get out of the house on time!
2) Sharing the love – As silly as it sounds I think this is pretty common for mothers awaiting baby number two to worry whether they have enough love in them to love two little humans as intensely as you do one. How can one person feel this much love? Do I have that much love in me to give? Questions that may sound silly are often the biggest fear – I know that’s true in my case any rate.
3) Neglected – Will baby number 1 feel neglected and replaced? Will baby number 2 need more attention that I am able to give?
4) Time Sharing – Do I have enough time in the day to entertain 2 children equally? Will the new baby be clingy and need my attention 24/7 or will Amelia suddenly decide to be clingy because there is a ‘competitor’ now for mummy attention?
5) How much will our relationship change? – I fully admit that I am not the same fun loving happy go lucky girl that I used to be, now I’m just usually tired and get weepy at the things that used to make me laugh (I.e. Little play arguments and play fighting). This definitely does affect our relationship just as it would with anybody in this situation but how much more could it change when baby no2 is here? Just as I was starting to feel like my old self around 7 months after Amelia was born.. Oh welcome back hormones and tiredness!!
6) Will I just become another boring mum? – I used to have plenty of time to juggle cleaning, Amelia time, me time, Jack time and cooking. I couldn’t help but wonder whether I’d feel super thinly stretched with another tiny person to look after.
7) How stressed will I be? – Having one child that doesn’t listen and likes to have sporadic tantrums on the middle of a busy shop is stressful enough but two?! Urgh!
8) Will I be a bad mum – Before I got to the tired and lazy stage of pregnancy, I knew I was a good mum. I was attentive and always put her first no matter what and played with her all of the time and taught her new things. Now, however, I am so tired that I feel like a useless mtother. The TV could entertain Amelia all day as I just flake on the sofa feeling awful. Hello coffee!!
If you’re expecting baby number two or thinking about a second child and are worrying then don’t worry, everybody goes through it. Now that Max is here and almost a year & a half it’s amazing and was the best decision we made! Sometimes they’re a nightmare and it’s a big struggle. They fight and argue and yell at each other a lot, but it’s all made up when I get to see them hugging, kissing and playing together sharing happily.
Everything I was worrying about all seems very silly now and I realise that we all have good and bad days – that’s just called being a parent!