A Bit Of An Old Nag

How often do you go through a day without raising your voice?

Without completely losing your shit?

Do you ever sit there in the evening when your children are in bed and just think?

Think what did I really get so annoyed about?

Wonder whether it was even really worth raising your voice?

Wonder what actually made you lose your shit?

Do you sit there thinking about taking up yoga or an anger management class because you’re feeling guilty as hell?

Well this is pretty much Every. Single. Evening. for me.

My main ‘stand back I’m about to explode’ trigger is asking 100 times for something to be done.

Can you put your puzzle away please Amelia?

Amelia, can you put your puzzle away please now?!

I’m not going to tell you again!

Amelia, pick up the damn puzzle!!

How many times do I have to tell you?!

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This happens literally every day. Amelia loves her puzzles and is typically good as gold and does everything I ask straight away. She passes me things, she picks up things I’ve dropped, she even put hers and Max’s nappy’s in the bin for me! Well trained or what?! (I have no idea how she got to be this brilliant and tidy!)

However on the flip side she also does this thing where she tops out a box of toys (or five) and just leaves them.. like doesn’t even play with them or anything! I think she’s likes us having to tip-toe our way through a toy mine field getting a cow or two jabbed into the bottom of our feet!

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Another thing that drives me up the wall is when I have things to do and at that point Max decides to be clingy as heck and – what can only be described as a demented scream – until I pick him up.

I know I know, typical, standard toddler and baby. But sometimes it can just really grind you down!

But when I actually sit down, relax and look back completely child free, I miss them both like crazy and can’t wait until they’re up and jumping around again. I reflect, I think of everything we had done that day and know, as I do all the time, that really Amelia is good as gold, and I’m really really lucky to have such a grown up, well behaved and pretty mature almost-two-year-old. That one moment where she doesn’t listen and is whinging endlessly (or so it feels) I just snap sometimes. I yell that little bit louder or make a frustrated kind of grunt that (I think) scares Amelia a bit and makes her realise mummy is not happy.

And it’s horrible.

And I feel guilty as hell.

And I think again that maybe yoga is a good idea.

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Does this sound familiar to you?

*****

Twin Mummy and Daddy
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8 Comments

  1. Oh boy do I hear you. I find that I get annoyed by constant and I mean CONSTANT, MUMMA MUMMA MUMMA from my youngest who can’t actually talk yet so either doesn’t actually want anything or just wants me to look at him and give him attention. Usually when I am trying to do something like, wash up, cook dinner etc. When you then snap and say WHAT? All flustered straight away you feel horrible and the guilt – URGH. Goodness I could go on and on listing the things that make me loose my shit daily. But hey, we’re in this together and we’re clearly not alone! Thanks for joining us at #familyfun x

  2. Somedays I feel like all I do is shout, but other days I don’t shout at all. I try not to shout, I guess it’s about balance. Thanks for linking up to #ThatFridayLinky

  3. I’m sitting here feeling exactly like this after I told my two year old off today when he crayoned on our dining room table. I didn’t even raise my voice particularly, but he was really really upset and I just felt awful. But while I think those moments are often the ones we dwell on at the end of the day, I really don’t think our children tend to give them another thought 5 minutes down the line. We all have our limits and toddlers definitely know how to push you right to yours. Don’t feel too guilty (easier said than done I know!), it sounds like you have a wonderful little girl and you’re doing a wonderful job in bringing her up. Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

  4. Oh my goodness, I just wrote a post about nagging last week and I totally get where you’re coming from, with the same thoughts about 10 times a day. My two year old is into EVERYTHING at the moment and seems to know exactly what to do to push my buttons. To the extent I’ve started to read ‘when your kids push your buttons’!! My 9 month old is also becoming very clingy and today, with my two year old refusing to nap to top it off, I just felt on edge the whole time. I know it’s the age they are at, and they’re supposed to test the waters. All I can say is thank goodness they are so damn cute the rest of the time. Hang on in there! #MarvMondays

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