Everybody knows that giving birth is no walk in the park, no matter whether it is your first baby or your fifth. We’ve all been told horror stories as a first time mother-to-be of what to expect in the delivery room, from screams of agony to pooing yourself. What they don’t tell you though, is what to expect after you’ve given birth.
So here goes!
Prepare yourself for the heaviest period you have ever had in your life. Regardless as to whether you’ve given birth naturally or via caesarian section, you will bleed and bleed and bleed. So keep those mops handy! (I say mop in place of sanitary towel because what you will be needing is not your run of the mill girly pad – it is basically a nappy). It won’t just be the baby’s nappy you’ll have to change every five minutes! The good news is that it should only last from two to six weeks – although sometimes even longer. And tampons just won’t cut it – trust me!
Your va-jay-jay will be a mess! Picture a war zone/battle field. You will have a swollen and possibly stitched up mess! And in those first few days you may still be losing the odd and loose bits of placenta too either in your granny panties or in the loo.
Don’t expect to go jumping back into your bikini and skinny jeans! You will still be fat, except your stomach will feel very very hollow (literally straight after giving birth to Amelia I stood up to get off of the bloody and manky bed and almost fell over backwards!) You will not look like Kim K. Models aren’t realistic so don’t be too disappointed please! Not everyone is able to get a tummy tuck straight away whilst the nanny tends to the baby.
Oh, and the whole crying loads thing.. Yeah that doesn’t stop either! Most women replay their labours over and over in their heads a few days after the birth which generally makes you just weep and weep. Of course some people have mild cases like this, whereas others end up in full blown postpartum depression which you may not recognise yourself just how bad you have gotten. Its good to have somebody close that can look out for the signs for you and support you through it. If they tell you to see a doctor, do it! Don’t let it get out of control and ruin your first few months/years of motherhood.
Your hair may still fall out. So basically you’re still on the chubby side, looking tired 24/7, crying for no reason and now to add insult to injury.. you may have some hair loss.. Great!
Breastfeeding wont be as easy as you think (That is if you even chose to breast feed) Don’t get all down on yourself and feel like a failure if your initial plans change and you have to bottle feed. Its totally fine to do either! Don’t feel ashamed when everyone keeps saying ‘breast is best’. I didn’t breast feed and Amelia hit all of her milestones early and has only ever been sick once which just goes to show that in some instances it doesn’t matter! And if you do breast feed, those things may be pretty solid for some time!
You might hate your other half. There is a strong chance that you’ll look at him during one of the 3am feeds he still hasn’t woken up for, no matter how many digs with the elbow you’ve given him, and you really will want to punch him in the face. but he does come in handy to reassure you when you have a break down because you cant find the TV remote (its probably in the fridge!!)
You have spent the past 9 months feeling like a human water bottle/sweat bucket and you probably expected this to stop and you can go back to regulating at a normal body temperature.. well think again! This is yet another reason why we LOVE our hormones.
Don’t worry though, not all of these happen to everybody and you’ll probably be so consumed in your little bundle of joy to even really care about all the gross things going on with your body.
Thanks for reading! xx